I really do miss her!

It’s now been about a year and a half that mom passed away. It doesn’t seem possible, but at other times, it seems like forever.
This morning I was playing the piano before church and happened to look up at the photo of mom and me - on top of my upright piano.
There are actually three different photos in one frame. My son and his wife gave these photos to me on my birthday, January of 2009. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel much like celebrating at the time, because I was feeling sad over my mother’s health condition. At that time, she was in the nursing home and it was not looking like she would live much longer..
I knew about a year before that, well, I felt, that Mom wasn’t going to make it much longer than the early part of 2009. No, I didn’t have any direct words spoken by God to me on that one, but it was just a knowing. I also found out that my two sisters had felt the same thing. Perhaps, God was preparing us. Mother herself, realized before us, that her days were few in number.
She had been doing fine before her last bout with illness. She had recovered from other serious health issues, and we thought ‘hopefully, she’ll get over this hump and be with us longer, but that was not to be. Her health started going downhill and over a three week period it was
evident she would be leaving us soon.
Who knows how long a person will be here? Do you? I certainly do not. I don’t really know that I would like to have that information if it were possible. Death is not an easy number. It should be, but it isn’t. To me, it is hard losing those we love. God will give us peace and of course, them - thank the Lord above! - but, we miss them even before they are gone!
I do know, that if we are Christians, we believe that death is NOT the final chapter. We leave this ‘school’ down here (quoting my mom) and go to be with our Lord and those believers that have gone before us.
There are many of us that have such a positive attitude about it at times. " If I die- I’ll be in a better place!!!" That is definitely TRUE! No more tears or sorrow. After all, isn’t Heaven what we are all seeking?
It’s not my lack of faith here- for I know that I serve the risen Jesus Christ of Nazareth and I do
believe with all of my heart and soul that I am going to heaven. I also believe that there are many of my family and friends already there who will welcome me. I also believe that just being with the KING of KINGS is going to be something so awesome and so wondrous. I can only imagine what it will be like.
Sixty-five years old. Who me? When did that one happen? I was young and now I’m old?
I’m not upset about it- seriously, I’m not. Oh, I have been. I remember when I was able to do so much more than I am now- I always was the goofy one- the silly one- the aunt who tried to make everyone forget their troubles.
It wouldn’t be anything for me in years past, to put a colander on my head for a laugh. Why not? I guess I missed my calling- should have been in the ‘clown’ ministry.
There have been times that I have wanted to do the silliest of things - like I use to- that this ole body will not agree to. Slip’n slides are definitely now a no-no! Anyway, this age does not prohibit my being funny at times with my family, but I just have to go about it a different way-slower and safer!! So what is the point here? Well, the older you get, the more you see the body is not going to last forever, and your thoughts sometimes take on a more serious nature. You realize that it is time to get your house in order and I’m not talking about giving your home a good cleaning. One understands the need to get serious about one’s beliefs. Now, my question is what if you knew you were getting closer to your life ending ? What if you were told you had a week - 3 days to live. What if you were not even given that long? I think of that sometimes. When you cross over the age of sixty- you think about it a lot! One doesn’t have to be old, for there are a lot of young people who have heard those words. Would you be prepared for that? Would your house be in order? I pray mine will.
What if you were seated comfortably in your home, and all of a sudden a 7 point earthquake rattled everything you had? Split your home wide open?
I was thinking about this today and I thought to myself, "who you gonna call? Ghostbusters?"
Do we realize most of the disasters people endure are a complete surprise to them as well?
I was sitting by mom’s bedside the night before she passed away, not knowing when she would take her final breath. One of my sisters was with me. Our other sis, who had been able to visit mom, had to return to her home in another state. We kept the phone lines busy-all we could do at the time.
Anyway, my sister was sitting with me, and we were holding hands, praying and praising God and thanking HIM for being with mother. We kept repeating Mom’s and Jesus’s words to us kids, "Jesus will never leave you or forsake you".
We didn’t want to leave mom that night. We had all talked with her, and even though she wasn’t able to communicate with her family at that point, we knew by an occasional nod, she understood what we were talking about. My sister and I talked with her. My other sister. Our children- their mates-and their children.-. All wanted to get that last talk in with grannie- with mom.
As sis and I that prayed that night, we told her everything would be all right. She could leave now. We would miss her terribly and we do! - but, that God would take care of us all.
I don’t believe she was experiencing fear, but knowing mom, think that she wanted to go out saying every prayer and praise to her Lord that she could. I know that the Lord heard every one of them too! She loved Him so much. She talked to us all the time about our need for faith in Him. There were so many people that she not only witnessed His love to, but prayed for - and tried to hold them accountable. She was, in her own way, a warrior for Jesus Christ. That night we realized what Mom knew- that the Lord was indeed, with her. We were praying for her and God was reassuring us, of His presence.. When we left that night and had been home an hour, the hospital called us- ‘get down here- she is passing’. We couldn’t make it that quickly- God knows we tried!
Sitting there, in that room, by her bed was so surreal to me. There was such a stillness. My hubby was there w/me and my sister and her husband were there as well. There were workers who had been with her and they were comforting us. They told me to lay my hand on mom’s forehead- that it would bring me happiness. Happiness. I was sobbing. I walked over to her, and touched her forehead and it was so warm. So warm. I don’t understand all the physical aspects of death.. I know that we are body, soul and spirit. I certainly believe that our spirit, when we are Christians, goes to be with our Lord.
All I know is that I felt such a peace in that room that night. I felt strangely warmed. I felt even
though my Mom’s body was dead- that she was indeed alive. I don’t know how it all happened- where she might have been standing- who knows? I believe with all my heart that there were
angels or an angel in that room. The peace that was upon us all was real. Looking at her body, lying there...and having peace?. Total absolute peace- only God can do that! All of us just wanted to stay in that moment.
Our family all knows mom/grannie was a worrier. Her concerns were for her children and their families. She wanted all of them to have solid relationships with the Lord Jesus Christ. She worried about her whole family. I can not begin to relate to you the number of prayers that mother and I have said for this huge family of ours, and I wouldn’t begin to try and guess the number of prayers that she has said with my siblings and other family members and also her friends. We can’t even imagine the prayers she said in her private times.

I do not believe God worries about us like earthly parents do- for He is all powerful and He knows so much about you and I that we don’t even realize. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows the next word out of our mouths. He knows the choices that we are going to make before we make them. He is GOD! Our creator- yours and mine.
I do think that He grieves. I think that we cause Him grief when we make choices that He knows are away from His will. He wants ALL men to come to the knowledge of Him. He wants ALL men saved. He wants our children to come to Him. He says,"Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them NOT!" I believe that my mother truly believed that.
She had many heartaches, and not one of them for being a Christian! Her heartaches came from watching suffering happen to those she loved so deeply. She wanted to spare her family the hurt and pain that indifference to God’s Word causes.
I only hope, that when the Lord decides to take me home- if I get the chance- that I will be able to utter prayers up to my Lord. I’m sure that He knows the hour and minute of it all- and He will work it out for my and my family’s good- but, it will not be easy for us all.
To me- letting go of a love one- that’s the hardest part! The whole point of this sharing with you, is that if you Know the Lord as your Savior- and you let your love ones know that you do-
then you are truly comforting them. You will have peace- and they as well. It won’t be easy, but
the Lord will be with you the whole way. Death, we are told, is merely a passing over. We don’t understand it like we wish we could, but just realizing that our death ushers us into God’s heavenly Kingdom is something we should all look forward to. I thank God for His gift- and I say, gift of salvation. I think God for His Plan of Salvation. Jesus Christ came to save sinners. He gave His life for that.
We have to not only accept that with our minds, but with our hearts.
Billy Graham, the great evangelist, always said- "Today- today is the day of salvation!- Don’t wait! Don’t put it off! Ask Jesus into your heart- TODAY!"
If we keep turning Him down- and turning away- we could walk farther and farther away - and when it is our time to pass into eternity, Heaven or Hell, we might not have that opportunity to pray and gain that peace that only God can give us- that peace our mom/grannie had.
"Lord, we are all sinners, saved by your grace and mercy. I think that we take you too lightly sometimes Lord. We think that we will live forever on this earth. As we age, we realize that
this is not going to happen. I think when I was young, I thought all this serious stuff was something I would think on when I reached- 50! Ha! Accepting you as our Savior, and living for you is a wondrous thing. Life is so much shorter than we realize. As we age, it almost seems
like life speeds up! One day at a time- one day at a time - that certainly is the way to live all right- but, one day at a time with you Lord. Not our selfish ambitions and concerns.
Maybe then, we can ‘go out praying and praising you! Being confident that our prayers have
indeed been answered!" We can know that you will never leave or forsake us! In Jesus’s Name. Amen
Ref. Scripture- Psalms 139, Psalms 103

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv3mOPCH6bs